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Gönderen Konu: Two Cows  (Okunma sayısı 2692 defa)

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Kasım 20, 2011, 06:45:25 ös
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As far as I'm concerned, understanding the men in different disciplines and economical-political regimes is vitally important for both freemasons and those who are interested in freemasonry.

In spite of the fact that the below being transmitted to me by e-mail is nothing than a joke, I see that truth is also involved in it up to some extent.

Enjoy and think!



SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
 
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go to the pub for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans
You kill the cows and make souvlaki
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money .....

 
« Son Düzenleme: Kasım 20, 2011, 06:47:33 ös Gönderen: ADAM »
ADAM OLMAK ZOR İŞ AMA BUNUN İÇİN ÇALIŞMAYA DEĞER.


Kasım 20, 2011, 09:59:35 ös
Yanıtla #1
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What happens if it is a TURKISH CORPORATION ?


Kasım 21, 2011, 12:13:50 öö
Yanıtla #2
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A TURKISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
Cut on of them to eat and cut the other cow for religional respect to eat
You havent got any cow to eat more, so
Bring one cow from outside the country in low cost
Cut the bringed cow to eat
then bring more cow from enywhere else.


Kasım 22, 2011, 01:11:56 öö
Yanıtla #3
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mr.abezethibou likes to look for religion connection .It is interesting.

I think that turkish people have a lot of problem but religion couldnt be written in list.

Lacking of powerful state in which muslims are high percentage shouldnt be regarded as failure of religion.

I will write Turkish part of joke.Maybe it may not be funny but at least presence of religion aspect will change :)

Turkish people likes to have potential.


A TURKISH CORPORATION
Your grandfather had fifty cows at past. All cows were died.
Your father had one hundred cows. A lot of cows were died.
You have two cows.You are proud because of cows of your father and your grandfather.
Dont mention that you have two cows.
Always look at your neighbours to learn how to feed them.Dont do anything which you dont see .
If it is good for you to sell their milk probably you will have been feeding until dead of two cows.
After dead of two cows ,you complain about the state and declare that state is responsible for dead of two cows.
« Son Düzenleme: Kasım 22, 2011, 01:14:57 öö Gönderen: neumann »


Kasım 22, 2011, 01:18:36 öö
Yanıtla #4
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Dear neumann;

Religion is my interest nothing else. Cows and meat are not any problem that listed as a known problems. It's just a joke thats harmless. :)


Kasım 22, 2011, 09:13:14 öö
Yanıtla #5
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Alıntı
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
it was funny


Kasım 22, 2011, 01:05:53 ös
Yanıtla #6
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A TURKISH CORPORATION V1.0

You have 2 cows.
Politician: Do you see ? You have 2 cows just like others.I told you '' Our economic conditions going well. ''

A TURKISH CORPORATION V2.0

You have 70 million cows.
Politician : Finally !!!
Cow (num.1000341) : MOOoo ( I need to rest )
Cow (num.2000548) : MoOOo ( ZZzzzZZZzz )
Cow (num.5000968) : MooO    ( I nee ZZzzz )
Cow (num.2000835) : Moo ( I need tZZzzz)
Cow (num.8952365) : MoooO ( I need to reZZzzz )
Cow (num.7000001) : MöööÖÖ ( Çok yanlız hissediyorum)
Cow (num.6000489) : MOOOO ( I neZZzzzzz)
Cow (num.5000789) : MooOooo ( ZzzZZzz need Zzzz to Zzzz resZZzzz )
Kardeşim sen düşünceden ibaretsin , geriye kalan et ve kemiksin.


Kasım 22, 2011, 07:12:50 ös
Yanıtla #7
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A TURKISH CORPORATION V3.0

You have two cows...

Then you realize that you are the one of  70 million cows.

Thank GOD at least we had a good herdsman once upon a time...
« Son Düzenleme: Kasım 22, 2011, 07:46:56 ös Gönderen: TULU »